Tuesday, November 20, 2012

After Baby Shower..

Sunday (11/18/12) night after the baby shower:  

Baby Shower.. I know many of you are wanting to know how the baby shower for my sister-n-law went today. It was beautiful like I knew it would be. Jessica looked beautiful like I knew she would. Baby Lyla received so many beautiful prese
nts like I knew she would. As for myself.. it went as I thought it would. :)

I discretely (or so I hope it was discrete) left the house a few times to cry or just take a breather to gather myself. I was emotional when I wrapped her gift last night and I was emotional before I left the house today. I was okay when I got there as this was such a happy occasion. I just get a little overwhelmed with crowds so when that started to happen I walked outside for a minute. I do wish I could have started more conversations with some of the guest but I'm not quite that good yet.. I would have prior to what happened with Lily but again.. I get overwhelmed easily or have anxiety easier than I ever did before..

The hardest part had to be presents and I don't really know why. I held myself together until Jessica opened presents. I wish I wouldn't have cried the way I did but I really couldn't help it and I know everyone understood. Jessica and I talked before hand and she was very supportive of what I was going through.. I have a great family but yes.. I did cry A LOT during the presents.

Lily gave Jessica a gift of some of her favorite things.. :) I just wish Lily and Lyla, Makynlea, Dean, Maddox.. all of her cousins & of course her siblings would have grown up together and played together.. it just breaks my heart.

I think the presents were hard because it is just a hard reminder that Lily is no longer here and I will never be able to buy those things for Lily.. she received a lot of clothes that said "I love Mommy" and for some reason that made me tearful.. I can't explain it. I was there and I am glad that I was there- Emotional or not.. I was there.. Thank you for the thoughts, words, and prayers :)

**This was my post on Lily's Facebook page (Never Forget Lily Grace) and this was the response from family:  

Mother-n-law Darla:  
 Amy. We are all so glad you came. I know it was hard for you. You are such a kind , thoughtful & amazing person . Giving Jessica a Seahorse like the one that soothed Lily & gave us all a purpose for 18 days & the Boppie that was to be Lily's were very thoughtful. I love you & Lily so much

Aunt Dee Dee (Darla's sister):  
You did Incredibly well yesterday Amy! We all know it was difficult for you! I am so glad you came and I am Soooooo glad you are a part of our family!!! Love ya!!

Jessica (baby Lyla's Mom and my Sister-n-Law):  The gifts meant the world to me and baby Lyla.... Im even going to keep the little angel bag in Lyla's room. I am so proud of you, words cannot express how proud i am and how grateful i am that you are a part of my family. You and Lily have brought so many people and hearts together... Her memory will never be forgotten. I already know that everytime i look at Lyla, a part of me will think of Lily. They will be close even though Lily physically isn't here with us. I have already put the sea horse Lily gave Lyla in her crib... They will be best buddies. Love you!

So sweet.. <3  I love all of my family (and friends that are like family)

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