When you are dealing with a BIG loss.. when you are in the midst of grieving a big loss in your life (child, parent, friend, spouse, family member.. it could even be a job, house.. independence if you are older or maybe you were in an accident.., etc).....
.... You really can't be someone's "rock" or someone's person to lean on (this isn't forever but this is for awhile I believe)....
... If you are trying to stand on your own two feet... trying to live life while dealing with a big loss... if you aren't strong enough for yourself yet then you can't be strong enough for someone else yet..
.... Of course your kids.. yes.. you don't have a choice.. you have too.. even your husband/ wife.. yes.. because you have too but mainly your kids because they are your kids and you are their rock..
... I sometimes feel bad for my family and friends because many of them are going through their own hard times but I can't be their person right now.. I am not strong enough yet..
..... I am functioning and doing better than I was for sure but this grief comes in tidal waves.. I think about Lily daily.. all the time... I cry every day at some point and some days.. it is like a tsumani when it hits me.. holidays, anniversary days, or triggers bring those ttidal/ tsumani waves on too...
... Stress makes it worse or when a lot of things are happening at once in my life (multiple different things in my life.. different areas of my life I mean)..
I share this song because since losing Lily I have really, really loved listening and singing this song.. It is very powerful for me...
"oh, there's a child
who is sick and begging to be free
but there is no cure for his disease
he looks up to his mother and
as she hold (holds)
prayin' that someday
the sun will shine again
and the pain?
and the pain will end
come on
i am here
you don't have to worry
i can see...
...your tears
I'll be there in a hurry when you call
friends are there to catch you when you fall
i'm your friend and i'll catch you when, when, when you fall
here's my shoulder, you can lean on me"
I just can't be the shoulder yet.. I can be there.. I can.. I just need to be my rock, my children's rock.. and Ricky's rock first..
Can anyone relate...does this make sense...or does anyone understand because of their own experiences of grief or loss in their life?
♥ I hope you take 5 minutes and watch this video.. thank you!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PXBKaOkmQhw
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