Good Enough is Good Enough…
One of my children would get a B and I would talk to them about doing better…
My kids would do something and I would talk about how that was great but how could they do better…
Not all of the time but it happened…
You see.. I am a perfectionist and I had a “this is how I would do it mentality” and I was just trying to help but I realized that it wasn’t helping.. at all..
A little more than 4 years ago I went to school to be a school counselor and one of my professors did a lecture on “Good enough is good enough” and that changed my perspective on things…
You see… “good enough is good enough”..
Kids don’t have to be perfect, are we? No…. not at all so why would we expect them to be perfect?
We expect kids to never get color changes (or light changes for behavior), we’d like them to always get A’s and B’s in school, to sit & always listen when told to do something… to be almost a perfect child or person.. are we? No so why would we expect that from them.. a child?
Instead the question or comment could or should be.. “Did you do the best that you could do?”.. if the answer is no then “what do you think could have been done differently”.. Great job but next time try that… if the answer is yes and they truly mean it…. Then.. good job because good enough is good enough…
A grade of C is not the end of the world even if we are A students.. they are not us.. I just ask my kids to try their best and do their best. I tell them that I am proud of them and how much I love them all of the time. I try to give them as much love and encouragement as I can.. always.
Am I perfect? No… never and I know that… so yes, good enough is good enough and my kids are perfect the way they are…
Some kids are developing anxiety or never feel good enough because of the pressure that some people put on them… that they are never good enough even when they absolutely try their hardest… is it worth it? Is it worth causing your child anxiety problems because you want them to be perfect… no, not at all..
You never know what tomorrow or let alone the next 5 minutes will hold for you… will there be a tomorrow? Do your kids know how much you love them or how proud you are of them?
If they ask you to come play with them.. do you make time for them? I have been guilty of not stopping before and granted, we can’t always stop but we should make our best effort. The lecture and then losing my daughter Lily has forever changed me… try not to live for tomorrow or what you want them to be in the future.. love them for today, who they are, encourage them (to do their best or to be happy..), and help them love themselves...
If they feel that their Mom or Dad isn’t proud of them, that they are not good enough for their parents.. then what will that do for their self esteem.. will they ever be good enough in life?
Stop and tell your children that you are proud of them, that you love them, to always do their best, and that “good enough is good enough”…
One of my children would get a B and I would talk to them about doing better…
My kids would do something and I would talk about how that was great but how could they do better…
Not all of the time but it happened…
You see.. I am a perfectionist and I had a “this is how I would do it mentality” and I was just trying to help but I realized that it wasn’t helping.. at all..
A little more than 4 years ago I went to school to be a school counselor and one of my professors did a lecture on “Good enough is good enough” and that changed my perspective on things…
You see… “good enough is good enough”..
Kids don’t have to be perfect, are we? No…. not at all so why would we expect them to be perfect?
We expect kids to never get color changes (or light changes for behavior), we’d like them to always get A’s and B’s in school, to sit & always listen when told to do something… to be almost a perfect child or person.. are we? No so why would we expect that from them.. a child?
Instead the question or comment could or should be.. “Did you do the best that you could do?”.. if the answer is no then “what do you think could have been done differently”.. Great job but next time try that… if the answer is yes and they truly mean it…. Then.. good job because good enough is good enough…
A grade of C is not the end of the world even if we are A students.. they are not us.. I just ask my kids to try their best and do their best. I tell them that I am proud of them and how much I love them all of the time. I try to give them as much love and encouragement as I can.. always.
Am I perfect? No… never and I know that… so yes, good enough is good enough and my kids are perfect the way they are…
Some kids are developing anxiety or never feel good enough because of the pressure that some people put on them… that they are never good enough even when they absolutely try their hardest… is it worth it? Is it worth causing your child anxiety problems because you want them to be perfect… no, not at all..
You never know what tomorrow or let alone the next 5 minutes will hold for you… will there be a tomorrow? Do your kids know how much you love them or how proud you are of them?
If they ask you to come play with them.. do you make time for them? I have been guilty of not stopping before and granted, we can’t always stop but we should make our best effort. The lecture and then losing my daughter Lily has forever changed me… try not to live for tomorrow or what you want them to be in the future.. love them for today, who they are, encourage them (to do their best or to be happy..), and help them love themselves...
If they feel that their Mom or Dad isn’t proud of them, that they are not good enough for their parents.. then what will that do for their self esteem.. will they ever be good enough in life?
Stop and tell your children that you are proud of them, that you love them, to always do their best, and that “good enough is good enough”…
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