Things that never would have caused me concern before can sometimes cause me panic or anxiety now..
It would seem irrational to you and the outside world but I bet another grieving parent would understand..
For example.. our house is partially packed & I needed an insulated lunch bag for tomorrow.. couldn't find one because it was packed away.. Hmmm.. What should I do..
Lily had one.. I went to one of her special boxes that has my breast feeding supplies... I pulled out her insulated, Medela bag that the hospital gave me so I could keep breast milk cold for transporting..it still had a Kosair business card in it...
I pulled it out if the box.. No big deal right?? Wrong!?! I was flooded with memories tied to that bag.. what if I use this bag tomorrow & something happens to it.. I can't do this.. I can't let anything happen.. I need another bag..
Panic sets in.. I had been in her box, flooded with memories, fear of losing her plain black insulated Medela bag..
This crap happens out if nowhere and Ricky doesn't understand.. "Calm down Amy.. It's no big deal.." I know things like this seem irrational but I also know that a big chunk of you.. sadly understand.. ❤❤
Grieving mother..our journey has many, deep layers ❤ just wanted to let you know what we go through ❤
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