Diapers & a Grieving Parent...
So many things that a grieving parent has to go through.. you don't just lose your child.. there are so many things tied to that loss..
When I took my baby girls perfectly picked out beautiful outfit, matching hairbow, beautiful matching shoes with pink bows on them, pretty ruffled socks, beautiful baby jewelry.. I had everything for her to take the funeral home for her burial and it was perfect...
Do you know what I didn't have.. a newborn diaper..
The funeral home asked me if I had a diaper to bury her in... no.. I didn't. My sweet baby lived every day of her life in the hospital.. I didn't have one single diaper to give the funeral home..
My friend had driven me to the funeral home to take these items that day... I had a big meltdown there.. huffy, hard to breathe crying.. "No.. I don't have a diaper for my baby..I can't go buy diapers.. that's too hard... my baby needs a diaper and her Mommy doesn't even have a diaper for her.. "
My friend took care of it for me... but to this day... it's hard to think of certain baby items and not have flash backs about my beautiful Lily.
I was able to change her diaper one time during her 18 days.. that's it.. but I will cherish that one time forever...
There is just so many triggers for grieving parents and it happens when you are least prepared.. ♥
**Correction.. sorry... I was able to change her diaper one time before her open heart surgery while she was still here with us and one time after she became an angel. After she passed away.. they let me give her a sponge bath with Johnson & Johnson bedtime body wash, put Johnson & Johnson bedtime lotion on her, put a diaper on her, dress her in one of our outfits, cut her hair, brush her hair..etc.. so really I changed her twice.. ♥
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