Did you just say that to a grieving parent???

Did you just say that to a grieving parent? 

I have to speak out about something that is bothering me. I am part of a few grieving parents groups and one consistent thing that I keep seeing are certain comments that are being said to grieving parents. For example: 

1. Are you over it yet?
2. Why aren't you over it yet?
3. You just haven't bounced back yet..
4. You're not the same..

The comments can get even worse- these are for pregnant grieving parents or parents with other kids:
1. You should be thankful for the kids you still have
2. You need to stop being sad and focus on the new baby you're about to have
3. You have a new baby that you need to think about now instead of thinking about the past
4. At least you have other kids...
5. You're young.. You can have more..
6. You have a new child to worry about now

There's a difference between people not knowing what to say and trying to be nice VS. saying insensitive, unkind things that should never come out of a persons mouth (like the comments above).

Why say the above things to anyone? When I had to face the reality that I could lose my child, I had to face what it could be like and I can tell you know... actually losing a child is a million times worst than anything you think it would feel like. I hope you never feel that..

It's easy to sit back and judge others or make assumptions when you haven't experienced such a loss but how dare anyone make those comments.

Think about someone that you love more than anything else and if that person was taken from your life in the blink of an eye.. would it be easy to replace them or could they ever truly be replaced? Can you replace a mother or father that passes? No! Would you say the above comments to someone who lost their parent- no! So a person that we make, grows inside our body (or adoption too).. a piece of us.. Is taken away and you think the above comments are acceptable?

We may never be the same! We will never "get over it"! NOTHING will replace a child that we've lost- NOTHING! You don't replace person A with person B.. Some people never get over a past relationship in their life but parents should get over a child that leaves their world.. empty arms, heart shattered, void in their life..

People should instead find ways to include an angel child, talk about them, and realize that just because they are not in our physical world doesn't mean they are gone from our lives! That's ridiculous!

They will always be a part of us so.. accept it, be patient, be kind, or move on.. If our pain bothers your life.. then you should move on.. please don't ever say the above comments to me.. I defend parents anytime I see or hear stuff like this.. Pointless, senseless, unkind words like this that never should be spoken, much less thought.. ❤