"Will you please hold her on your lap and tell her about me?..."

Please tell Lily about me, her Dad, her siblings, her dogs, her family, her friends... 

Please tell all of the angels in heaven about their family and friends too ❤

"Do you want to terminate your pregnancy?"

I posted this today.. 4/19/13 around 8:30 pm...

"Do you want to terminate your pregnancy?"

One year ago today, the results on Lily's chromosome testing from my amniocentesis came in. Do you know why I remember?

One year ago today our son Blake turned 7. We came home from taking him out to eat and we were about to gather around the table to sing happy birthday but I had a missed call on our home phone from my high risk maternity doctor. There was a missed call with a voicemail that included my doctors phone number. That is never good...

So I asked everyone to wait and I went in my bedroom to call the doctor. The results that everyone thought would come back negative instead showed something... something that the doctors thought wouldn't be a problem. He told me that they don't know exactly what it is but it looked like our daughter had a "mosaic" chromosome condition. (means partial/ not full). They don't know how it could effect her. She could be mild to moderately mentally/ physically impaired. They didn't know though as her results weren't clear.

There was something wrong beyond the heart but that is all they could officially tell me. Nothing else showed on her ultrasounds (it never did.. just her heart). She may even have Mosaic Down Syndrome or it could be something rare. They will continue to test the chromosomes for clear answers..then he said...

"We are running out of time though... did we talk about it? Do you want to terminate? If you want to terminate then we need to hurry because the state will only let you terminate until you are XX number of weeks and you are getting close to that....."

My response was "NO!!! NO!!! NO!!! I can't!! I can't!! NO!! NO!!..." Something VERY emotional like that. The doctor said "okay, okay..that's fine. I just needed to talk to you about it"...

I was already sad and then we went to Target..got sadder there because we passed the baby clothes section..

then I got sadder.. passed the toys with a doll on the endcap called "Lily"...

so I got sadder... then at the checkout there were two babies near me around the age that Lily should be..so I got even sadder..

then I got even sadder when I realized that today... my son's 8th birthday also means that one year ago today.. the doctor wanted to know if I wanted to end my babies life.. this babies life.. my Lily Grace in this picture...

No I didn't.. I wanted to give her a chance.. I wanted to let her fight.. I wanted to fight for her.. we wanted to fight for her and we did.. we all did. Oh how I wish you were here sweet girl... :(

Lily Grace 8/11/12 - 8/29/12 ♥

Happy 8th Birthday Blake!!!

Happy 8th birthday to our wonderful and funny son Blake! 

I ran some cupcakes to his class and he showed everyone Lily's seahorse (he really wanted too). He walked around and showed each student... He's so sweet! He talks about Lily a lot.

As soon as he held up her seahorse, one of his classmates said "Lily's seahorse!" He didn't even say anything yet- they just knew. He had taken a picture if Lily with her seahorse before.. ❤

Happy birthday buddy!!

House news update

House News Update!! 

Reminder of what recently happened: our house was put up for sale two weeks prior to our Lily's heart diagnosis on 3/30/12. We received an offer on our house February 15, 2013 and we were closing on our houses (selling our current & buying another house) 3/26/13.

One week prior to our scheduled closing.. our buyers loan fell through so everything fell through. This was devastating, especially after everything we went through this past year.

So our house went back up for sale and last Friday/ Saturday we received an approved offer on our current house and an offer was accepted for the house we were supposed to get last time ❤❤

Just wanted to share.. ❤❤ thank you all for the prayers and well wishes! Keep them coming ❤❤

I wish upon a star...

Posted on Lily's Facebook page on 4/16/13 (Never Forget Lily Grace):
I wish upon a star...

I wish that I would dream of Lily..

I wish that I could dream of me holding and kissing Lily.. 

My dream could be about me doing normal, everyday things with Lily..(Feeding her, holding her, kissing her, waking up in the middle of the night with my sweet baby, etc..).

I just want to have a dream that my little girl is in my arms.. what do you want to dream about?

Lily Grace Project Hairbow Party!! Wow..

We had another Lily Grace Project Hairbow Party on 4/14/13:
Beautiful Hairbow alert!! ❤

We had a wonderful Lily Grace Project Hairbow party today!! We have so many beautiful hairbows for donations and to buy (to help The Lily Grace Project). 

Just wanted to share!! ❤❤

Posted on Lily's Facebook page on 4/15/13:
Lily Grace Project Hairbows in memory of Lily Grace and all angels gone too soon! ❤

Closer view of the hairbows that our family made ❤❤

My family and I have been brainstorming on how to include other angel children with our project too (and brainstorming on how to make a neck strap for bow hairbows).. great things in the works for our project!! 

Thank you all for your support! ❤

I believe in angels..

Posted on Lily's Facebook page on 4/13/13:
I like this picture because the girl angel is wearing a beautiful hairbow! 

We are having another "hairbow party" tomorrow to make more hairbows for The Lily Grace Project. We haven't been able to do this recently so I decided to throw a hairbow party together very last minute.. ❤

I'll have to share pictures of our hairbows tomorrow... making hairbows is a stress reliever for me and a way to remember Lily ❤ I'm excited!! ❤