"Angels Among Us".. Paige, ladybugs and our Lily Grace

"Angels Among Us".... Sweet baby Paige, Ladybugs, and Lily Grace ♥

This is sweet baby Paige that my family and I met by donating hairbows at Kosair through the Lily Grace Project. I shared her story before and I just wanted to let you know that she is growing and making great progress! Paige's Mom wrote something that I wanted to share: (I hope that is okay Lori) ♥

" I saw this and found it very fitting tonight... I'm sure many of u have heard of, or seen me mention the never forget lily grace project!!

For those of u who aren't familiar with them.... It is a project led by an amazing woman who lost her sweet baby lily around six months ago... Her little lily spent her time here on earth in the Kosairs nicu... The project makes hair bows attached to lily pix and story and distributes them to the babies at the kosairs nicu in remembrance of the sweet lily grace.

On Valentine's Day Paige received a bow from them..since then Amy Elzy (lilys mom) and I have shared stories, became friends & noticed so many 'coincidences' between our stories...

One major one is that Amy called Lily "lily bug" and lady bugs were their thing....I didnt know this until recently... but lady bugs have been surrounding Paige since the day Lily's bow was dropped off... Paiges footprint valentine was a lady bug, I took a vase in that had love bug & lady bugs, a stool they sat next to her incubator was a ladybug, out fits but most importantly a line in the book that was given to us called on the night u were born...... its says that "none of the lady bugs flew a way and if a lady bug lands and decides to stay its to show u how special u r"

Amy made a statement tonight that gave me chills... "The lady bugs are just one of many signs that my Lily Grace is watching over Paige... Whispering in her tiny ear that she will get through this, and soon come home to be with mommy and daddy..."

Wow!! (Sorry if this is hard to make sense of I'm crying my eyes out as I type) Paige has been doing so incredibly well and is a miracle baby to say the least.... There is not a doubt in my mind that Lily lead the Lily Grace project to us.... These lady bugs can't be just a coincidence... I think Any is right... Lily is telling us she is watching over Paige... And everything is and is going to be ok... So lily (our/Paige's angel) take care of my baby girl ♥"

I've met so many incredible people through my baby Lily and the Lily Grace Project.. she continues to bless lives even after she went to heaven... It is so true that there are angels among us and Lily sure was an angel on earth and she is now one in heaven...

Please take time to listen to this... "Angels Among Us"... I truly believe my Lily and so many are angels among us... she had a purpose for being here and it continues to unfold...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zCYFPMjCgKA

 

Really missing Lily... "Heaven's Rocking Chair"

I know that it is late but I thought I would share something.. I have really been struggling since mid February... My Lily Grace was gone from my arms, kisses, songs... everything for six months.. half of a year on February 29th.. a non-existent date. I wish the 29th of the month representing her loss was non-existent but it isn't....

Lily being gone for HALF of a year.. wow.. that is hard.. way harder than I could imagine. Getting her headstone on Tuesday was so wonderful. I thought I would be sad when I saw it but rather I was soooo happy. The bad thing about being so happy though.. is when you get sad about losing your child.. you crash hard.. really hard.

So Tuesday night I crashed.. hard.. I cried so much that my eyes were hard to open the next morning from being swollen a little... I feel bad for the people around me sometimes because I just don't handle things as well as I used too.. So for about one month.. I have really been struggling.. I'm sorry if I haven't written Lily's friends back quickly or done hairbow orders as quick as I did before... I was just really struggling..

It was so incredibly hard losing my child... and the six month mark almost felt like I lost her all over again.. it is hard to explain but it is unbelievable pain that I hope you never go through...

Thank you to my friend Brenda who saw this picture and immediately thought of me.. so I want to share this as not only do I think of Lily & I but also of all the other angel parents out there when I read this.. Thank you Brenda! This is is for all of the grieving parents.. I just wish there wasn't so many of us.. much love and thank you all for "Never Forgetting Lily Grace".. our Lily Grace ♥

A few pictures of the Lily Grace Project: Hairbows for Healing hairbows

Just thought I would share some of our Lily Grace Project hairbows.. I sold these on Lily's Facebook page "Never Forget Lily Grace".  I never imagined selling hairbows but so many people asked if they could buy them so we started selling them this year.  Every hairbow bought gets one hairbow donated to a precious child in the hospital... I sold close to 30 in one night.. wow.. what a miracle. This helps us to continue making more hairbows.  I have big dreams for this- mailing hairbows to other hospitals, helping to purchase a bench at the babyland section of Evergreen where Lily has her resting spot (dedicated to all the babies & for all of the parents..).. to just get more hairbows out to more kids and to keep this project going forever hopefully!!

Here are some of the bows:
  

Lily's Headstone... our beautiful surprise..

My beautiful surprise.. 

Lily, my family, and I have waited 5 months for this headstone.. patiently waited and it is perfect. 

This was waiting for me today when I went to visit Lily. I needed this more than you will ever know... It means a lot to me. Sadly, I am excited and happy about my child getting her headstone.

I think the happiness is definitely turning to sadness now though... it is really sad.. really.. if you think about it.. I was just so happy earlier.

I tried posting this picture four times and it wouldn't work.. in the meantime I received a phone call from a telemarketer wanting me to give money to kids with cancer. I said that I was really sorry but this is not a good time so I was unable to help.. then she went into her speech about...

"I want you to imagine.. a child.. a sick child in the hospital... can you picture that.. that is who I want you to give money too.. " and she went on and on... I kept trying to stop her but she wouldn't.... she wouldn't..

I finally said "MA'AM.... if you only knew.. I know exactly what a sick child in the hospital looks like.. I don't have to imagine... I lost my child recently because her heart was sick.. "

She apologized and said.. "Oh.. I'm sorry..take care..I'm really sorry".. ugh... I was on such a high earlier.. ugh... I still love this headstone though..

It's here Lily.. it's finally here...

Happy 7 month Birthday to my sweet Angel Lily Grace

Happy 7 month birthday to my angel in heaven, Lillian "Lily" Grace❤❤

Minutes, hours, days, and sadly months go by without you here on earth.. no one has forgotten about you & we will forever love you sweet angel!! 

I hope you are having a big party with all of your family & friends in heaven! ❤❤Happy birthday sweet girl! ❤❤

I went to visit my child today... :(

Written on Sunday, March 10, 2013 on Lily's Facebook page: 

You shouldn't have to visit your child at the cemetery... 

I went to visit my child today

Not at school and not at home

But where she will forever stay

My arms is where my child should be

Getting love and kisses for eternity

Not in the ground away from me

That's all.. Plain and simple.. you shouldn't have to visit your child at the cemetery. You shouldn't go to a cemetery in anticipation that maybe their headstone has arrived..

How bittersweet.. I can't wait for my daughters headstone to arrive.. I should be anticipating or anxious about other things in my child's life.. not a headstone.

A parent should never have to even see their child's headstone...for other parents it's an urn to hold their child's ashes.. it's just unnatural..

I know she visits us everyday.. Maybe Lily's excited about seeing her headstone too.. We will all just keep waiting ❤❤

Lily & all of my kids

Recent posts from Lily's Facebook page: Never Forget Lily Grace

Lily with her brother's and sister's.. thought it would be fun to share their baby pictures... Sarah is 17 so I didn't want to embarrass her ❤❤

Do you have a story that you want me to share about your kids? Do you want prayers for a sickness or struggle??

It doesn't have to be heart or angel related.. If they need prayers, if you want them to be remembered, or thought about.. and you want to share their story on my Lily's page... Please send their story, picture, page/ blog that you want to share & anything else to my email: lilygraceproject@yahoo.com

So true.. Lost loved ones are not replaceable.. 

**Written March 7th**   Guess what I learned about my angel baby Lily who would be 7 months old on Monday, March 11th? 

"Your baby's next trick: Crawling

Ready, set, crawl! Once your little one figures out how to crawl, everything changes. If you've put off childproofing, now's a good time to do it. Take a look at the signs your baby's about to start crawling and the different forms it can take. Hands and knees aren't the only option!"

That's right... You see- I still get emails from Babycenter and other websites that sent me messages during my pregnancy... Why don't I cancel the emails you ask??...

There isn't an option for "child passed away" so the other choice is to delete their existence from my profile and that's not going to happen.. so instead I just get weekly emails about what my baby is doing and her milestones... ❤❤

I also get mail about diapers, formula, baby products, baby coupons, etc.. It's a no win situation...

As hard & painful as it is to get or see these things... calling people to say that your child has XXX.. you know.. the bad D word.. died.. ;( that's WAY harder to do than see these things or to delete their profile.. that will never happen..❤❤❤

The life of a grieving parent, grieving family member, grieving loved one... ugh.. Things like this happen when you least expect it.. ❤❤❤❤